My younger brother Willie is three years my junior and he’s already a grandfather. He’s also retired from his auto plant job, taking a buy-out when he was 48. When he came to visit, I figured he’d be talking a lot about cars and RSP’s and stuff like that, but when he saw an especially healthy rhubarb plant flourishing in our backyard, his eyes widened and he said he’d have to bake me some pies.

I have this love-hate relationship with pies. I really like to eat them, but when I try to make them, my pie crusts always turn out like plastic siding. My mom’s pie crusts are amazing, and I figured I got raw deal on whatever genes are involved in making pie crusts.

I was a little sceptical about Willie’s claim that pie crusts are easy, but apparently, he’s developed a bit of a reputation for his pies, notably with his grandson, who figures his pumpkin pie is amazing.

Mind you, Willie doesn’t make small, wussy pies. We had to go out and buy some of those deep-dish pie plates, the kind that most of us would assume are casserole dishes. When he started making them, I realized that we would end up with enough rhubarb pie to feed a large church social.

Anyway, for those of you who are still looking for a good pie recipe, here’s Willie’s.

To make the crust, you need a bowl that you could use for an emergency boat if necessary. Put five cups of flour in there.

Then, put a tablespoon of salt, a tablespoon of vinegar and one egg into a measuring cup. Add enough cold water to fill it to the one cup level and then mix it up with a fork.

Take a pound of lard and cut it into the flour with a pastry blender. My mom used to use a pair of knives to do this, but Willie figures that takes too long. Blend it in just enough so that the dough is kind of pilly-looking. If you mix it too long, the lard liquefies and your crust will turn out like plaster. Then add the contents from the measuring cup and blend it all together by hand, but again, only until it all barely holds together.

When you roll out the dough, put lots of flour on the board and roll a piece of it out until it’s about a quarter inch thick. To transfer the dough onto the pie plate, dust the rolling pin with some flour, roll the dough onto it, and then unroll it into the pie plate.

This makes enough pie dough to make bottoms and tops for three huge pies.

For the filling, you’ll need three to four cups of fruit per pie. Fresh rhubarb was the main ingredient in this case, supplemented by strawberries and blueberries. According to Willie, you can add just about anything to rhubarb; just make sure the rhubarb is washed and cut up well, almost diced. Throw the fruit into another huge bowl.

For every six cups of fruit, add two-thirds of a cup of brown sugar, 2 beaten eggs, two tablespoons of flour, one teaspoon of vanilla, one and a half teaspoons of cinnamon, and a quarter cup of sour cream (yes, you read that right). Toss this all together and pour it into the pie shells, and then add put some dots of butter on top. It makes the filling kind of like custard.

Brush milk on the bottom rim of each pie shell before you put the tops on, trim them and pinch the layers together. Then brush the tops with milk and sprinkle about a teaspoon of sugar on top. Bake in a pre-heated oven at 350 degrees for about an hour (maybe a little longer; we started talking and forgot about them, but they were fine).

They were great with ice cream for dessert, the next morning for breakfast, and they even made a good lunch.

As soon as I get up the nerve, I’ll try it myself.