Phew! A close call. It was only a little Bambi that got killed. But as Conservation Officer Paul McGhie says it's not exactly leaping the Grand Canyon for dogs to go from chasing deer to chasing kids and the consequences could be tragic.

In the greater scheme of things, the fawn killed by a dog or dogs in the Brookview area Wednesday was a minor incident but it also underlies a problem that is anything but minor.

The deer population in our fair city has grown to epidemic proportions and one of these days someone – most likely a child – is going to be seriously injured or killed because of the ubiquitous ungulates. It may be a doe that does the killing, enraged by someone getting too close to her new-born fawn. It could be a Mule Deer Buck in rutting season when their behaviour becomes quite aggressive. It may be an adult walking their dog, who gets a hoof in his/her face from a doe that has a fawn nearby. Over the last few years, we've had several calls at the Daily Townsman relating that kind of experience.

Or the fatal attack may come from a cougar, a coyote or other predator chasing deer in the city. A long shot maybe, but as the deer population grows so does the likelihood of such an attack taking place and more people have been attacked by cougars in B.C. than any other jurisdiction in North America.

Cranbrook is not alone with its deer problem. Kimberley, if anything, has more and last week a special meeting was held in Grand Forks to find a strategy to deal with the deer problem there. Deer are a huge problem on Vancouver Island where two-thirds of B.C.'s fatal cougar attacks have taken place. They are also running amok in southern Ontario and many American states including the ones just across the border from us.

In Iowa, they've come up with a deer contraceptive called BonaCon that would neutralize sex hormones in the famously fertile and polygamous animals. A decision hasn't been made on using it, but even if it comes into use the bill will be high because it could cost anywhere from $300 U.S. to $1,000 U.S. to capture and inject each deer and the drug's effects wear off after two years.

In a recent CBC story, Grand Forks Mayor Brian Taylor, said his small city has tried everything and doesn't know where to turn, "Birth control is not going to work. Relocation is too costly. Shooting the deer? Nah, we'd get such a public outcry."

Taylor also makes a good point when he says people that feed the deer are helping to maintain the herds at an artificially high population, which only makes the problem worse.

At the risk of making more enemies in this ostensibly peaceful burg, allow me to make a few modest proposals. For starters, how about a $1,000 fine for feeding deer. On second thought, make that $10,000. Let's loosen and simplify the hunting regulations so that more of the pests get killed and the herds are brought back to a natural level. What about a bow hunt in rural parts of the city where the deer numbers are high? In residential areas where bow shooting wouldn't be safe, why not allow people to trap deer in their yards, if they so desire, and the CO's could come around and dispatch them and donate the food to the Food Bank.

Bambi lovers may find some of the above offensive, but think about it for a moment. Where did Bambi live? Bambi lived in the FOREST, not in the middle of town. So if you truly love Bambi, you should encourage him/her to get back to the woods where he belongs and out of people's yards, gardens and flowerbeds.

And if you're really honest with yourself, you'll have to acknowledge these urban deer aren't real deer at all. They couldn't survive in the forest with tulip on their breath because the coyotes, cougars and wolves would be chowing down on them in no time.

Urban deer are nothing more than welfare bums, sponging off all of us. They seldom eat an honest meal in their lives, preferring garden vegetables to willow and grass like honest deer eat.

They are also dangerous in urban areas so what we need now is an honest politician with guts and integrity to bring in a program to put Bambi back in the forest and make the streets of Cranbrook safe to walk on again.