SAN DIEGO, CA: San Diego is a bit of a compromise. It's about as close as you can get to Mexico without actually crossing the border, which is reassuring to those of us who want to travel to a warmer climate but remain concerned about the recent spate of Canadians falling off second-storey balconies in Mexican resort towns.

Another thing about San Diego is that it isn't Los Angeles. Sure, it has freeways and dodgy parts of town, but in total, the pace there doesn't seem nearly as frenetic. According to Mike, one of the city's trolley tour drivers, it also has a built-in economic buffer due to a sizable military presence. Between its army, navy, and marine contingents, the city isn't as prone to the cyclical business downturns that have plagued some of its neighbours. Even so, local real estate guides are currently full of 'distressed' property bargains.

Along with the Old Town District, the Gaslamp Quarter, Seaport Village, and the San Diego Zoo, the city is rife with ooo-and-ahhh opportunities. Those of us trying to escape the snow briefly are happy enough to see a healthy complement of palm trees at first, but then we start scouring through the tour guides and coupon books to find a truly unique vacation experience.

For instance, a number of San Diego restaurants provide the option of drinking beer in yard and half-yard glasses. Because of the way the liquid sits in those glasses as you drink, this allows you the chance of periodically drenching yourself in your choice of ales and lagers.

We also found a reasonably up-scale oyster bar. We strolled in and hunkered down at a solid wood table to prepare for a feast of local molluscs, but then the server told us with some pride that all their oyster stock was flown in fresh from Vancouver Island. It never occurred to me that we had the market cornered, but apparently, Fanny Bay oysters have seen a lot more of the continent than I have.

One of the tour directories had an ad for a place called Sarah's Smash Shack, and with a name like that, we knew we'd have to give it a try. The ad featured a rather fetching, yet decidedly distraught-looking young woman – possibly Sarah, though she wasn't wearing a name tag or anything – and it promised potential customers the opportunity to choose from an assortment of delicate items and then smash them to bits right there in the store. This, I figured, had laser light bowling beat all to heck.

We made out way up the street, stopping here and there to check out the wares of other stores. There were all kinds of things to buy, like that tiger's head walking stick that I snagged for my wife's father, but many of the other things only seemed interesting because I was hoping that Sarah would have the foresight to have a couple on her shelves. Holding them in my hand, I'd consider their weight and heave-ability, trying to imagine what levels of satisfaction I might get from instigating their demises.

Sadly, when we finally reached the address, the store was empty and the windows were covered with blank newsprint. I could hear the hum of an industrial vacuum cleaner through the open front door and pictured shards and pieces of decimated knick-knacks being sucked up. Perhaps Sarah didn't get the volume of business she'd hoped for, or maybe she'd moved on to greener smashing pastures, but for a couple of discerning tourists, the chance to utterly destroy an extremely tacky item had been lost.