Breaking News

Gaston Lalande is alive and well, contrary to popular rumour

Gaston Lalande is very much alive - Barry Coulter photo
Gaston Lalande is very much alive
— image credit: Barry Coulter photo

Joseph Richard Gaston Lalande is very much alive, thank you very much.

Rumours of Monsieur Lalande's demise, as they say, are greatly exaggerated — but that hasn't stopped them from spreading around the community with astounding speed.

The long-time Cranbrook resident came by the Townsman office Friday to try to put an end to all the talk that he is dead.

"I believe it started at the Elko sawmill," he said. "Someone started spreading the rumour that I was dead!

"I think it was a mistake, but it's still rude, it's unprofessional!"

Somehow, "people with big mouths" carried that rumour forward. Someone offered their sympathies Lalande's brothers at church, to their consternation. Lalande even gave the staff at his dentist's office a great shock.

"I had an appointment, and saw another man sitting in my chair," Lalande said. "They'd cancelled my appointment — they thought I was dead.

"They said 'we're sorry, sir, we thought you were deceased.' They were even getting a (sympathy card) ready for my wife."

Lalande said the gossip had traumatized his wife. "And I'm traumatized too. I'm mad as hell."

We repeat: Joseph Richard Gaston Lalande is alive and well and living in Cranbrook.

We encourage an open exchange of ideas on this story's topic, but we ask you to follow our guidelines for respecting community standards. Personal attacks, inappropriate language, and off-topic comments may be removed, and comment privileges revoked, per our Terms of Use. Please see our FAQ if you have questions or concerns about using Facebook to comment.

Community Events, April 2014

Add an Event

Read the latest eEdition

Browse the print edition page by page, including stories and ads.

Apr 23 edition online now. Browse the archives.